WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME THAT GONE GIRL IS THE MOST SERIOUSLY TWISTED MOVIE EVER MADE???????????????
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I will never be the same.
It shows up on every, single, internet page I visit – it’s the add that won’t go away.
It faithfully appears in my email inbox each morning – with a “50% OFF!!!” caption.
It’s my color.
The fabric is forgiving.
Dress it up.
Dress it down.
I’m thinking…high black boots.
And the name…Author Outings Dress.
This dress is made for me.
And every time it shows up, I click – somehow believing that this time will be different. That it will suddenly be available in my size.
Think I can make that work?
You know you’ve aged when the best news you’ve gotten all year is that your maculae is healthy and you’re getting bifocals.
From Dolly Parton!!!!
I signed up for a tour-date newsletter, but still…
This morning as I turned my head upside down to sprinkle in the baby powder, the smell triggered sweet memories.
Memories of not bathing.
And I realized that I have gone from being a regular powder user to an infrequent one.
What’s changed, you might ask.
Having running water may be a part of it, but more importantly, I have a shower that guarantees a delightful experience every time I use it.
killer view of the trailer park across the highway (okay, maybe not “scenic” but at least it’s fascinating),
shelf for my coffee mug,
seat for my ass,
vast amounts of hot water.
So I shower more often, which, although new, isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
It’s the little things.
My oldest son is also my littlest – he’s pretty small and wiry for a 19-year-old…
and fucking adorable.
He gets cold easily – absolutely no body fat – so Santa brought him a really big, warm, fuzzy, blanket. It’s been a huge hit.
Bobby likes to wrap up and snuggle up over the heat vent which happens to be right underneath the Christmas tree.
Well, in the process of taking down the tree, I found a bunch of half eaten candy canes hanging on the low branches on the heat vent side.
No, he didn’t?
Oh, yes, yes he did:
ate half and rehung them on the tree for next time?
Good thing I love this child so much – I might not find him so adorable otherwise.
Yesterday I had a melt down.
He held my hand and told me that he loves me.
Today, he spent the day with my boys – doing boy shit.
Trap Club to shoot clay birds. Lunch at Subway. Group nap-time all over the couches and living room floor. Pizza for dinner. Foosball tournament. Gun care and cleaning. More foosball.
He’s a little scruffy, smells like fresh air and sweat, is currently a bit intent on guns and guys, patient as he teaches my children, welcoming the additional teenagers that stroll through the door.
His laughter resounds throughout the house.
I look up from my book to stare in amazement at this man with whom I share a world.
He is truly the sexiest man I have ever known.
He’s my Darcy.