20 years too late

I saw this and went there. I mean went there in all senses of the phrase.

And then I came back. To hell with them.

Things women should stop wearing after age 30

24. Graphic tees

Bat Girl, Hershey’s Chocolate, Gumby (with the big eyes right over my boobs)?

23. Bedazzled anything

Sparkle jeans and my favorite bedazzled John Deer graphic tee – just screwing up top to bottom.

20. Leopard print

And Zebra stripe and tiger print, thank you very much.

19. Sparkly pants

Uh, I’d kill for these:

19. Sparkly Pants

18. Oversized sunglasses



17. Non matching socks “By age 30, you should be able to keep better track of your socks.”

Do they suddenly start staying together in the dryer?

16. Hoop earrings

Oh, you mean these?

Oh, you mean these?

14. Furry anything

What about furry leopard print?

12. Short dresses

If I can draw attention to my legs, which are still relative acceptable, instead of my midsection, my flat ass, saggy boobs or wrinkled lips, I’m going to do it. Proudly.

11. Mini skirts

Isn’t that redundant?

8. American Eagle

If it’s in the thrift store, and it fits, I don’t give a fuck if it’s AE or even Abercrombie and Fitch.

6. Old sneakers

Brand new, shiny white kicks were uncool when I was 15, I don’t really see that anything has changed.

5. Cheap bras

I am not spending $60+ to keep the girls from laying flat on my tummy – it’s not worth it. Sorry Ladies.

3. Platform flip-flops

What about high-heeled rain boots?

I do draw the line at scrunchies

14 out of 24?

Apparently I am a lost cause.