Okay, “convalescence” might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I am prone to exaggeration, so, what do you expect?
Anyway, last week was the leg, this week, the tooth.
I was so excited to get the thing removed from my leg and even more excited to get the oh-so-painful tooth out of my mouth that it never crossed my mind that there might be anything challenging to it all.
So I’ve got pain and scarring and a mouth gap and a swollen face and weird spreading bruises all over the place that gravity seems to play with and I am on a liquid diet and so I’m starving; but those aren’t that big of a deal.
Here are the Big Deals:
Learned fact number one…As much as I fantasize about being an invalid so I have a valid excuse to lie around and watch tv and stare at the walls and eat soup and pudding and feel sorry for myself, it’s boring. I’m bored. Out of my fucking mind.
Learned fact number two…Even I can OD on Kozy Shack Tapioca Pudding.
Learned fact number three…Undercooked soft boiled eggs smell like the henhouse when cracked open.
LF#4…Head hair can get tangled up in leg stitches as it travels from one’s head to the shower drain.
LF#5…I am vain about my legs.
LF#6…I was actually quite attached to the gold tooth, or at least attached to actually having a tooth.
LF#7…I’m not really liking “scars” that come from aging rather than adventures.
LF#8…For fuck’s sake, FLOSS.
and wear SUNSCREEN (#9).
Fact #10…When they offer you stronger pain medication, take it because they can’t call in controlled substances to the pharmacy later when you realize that you need them.
Learned Fact #11…If the oral surgeon has to leverage his feet against the arm of your chair to better yard on your tooth with his pliers, there’s going to be some swelling later.
Learned Fact #12…I already kind of knew this but am just now acknowledging it…the voices that tell me that I am being lazy, not contributing enough, being a puss, and am selfishly expecting my partner to take care of me when he clearly has more important things to do are just that…voices…old ones…ones from which I can divorce myself…voices not worth listening to.
And Learned Fact #13…There is a fantastic television series from Masterpiece Theater called Downton Abbey available at the Mancos Public Library. I highly recommend it. It has saved my sanity.