Whoa, shit. I just put a feeler out there on Facebook for job or house in Moab. oh my – I said it out loud.
I think it’s going to be really tough to find both so I need to put the word out there as far and as soon as I can, which feels a little like committing even though I have nothing in place.
So now it feels like this might actually happen. I’m spinning a little and will probably chicken out more than once but today, this is what I want to do.
Why Moab when you’ve always said that it’s too much like Summit County and you could never live there?
Number one reason is that I still want to hang out with my boys so I don’t want to go some place like Boulder, UT. Moab to Durango is completely manageable and they love Moab.
Rationalization – it won’t be so Breckenridge-y in the winter. Hopefully.
I want to live in the Desert. I am a desert person. I’m a goddamn lizard. It’s where I go to feel joy so why not live in the middle of it?
And, suddenly, I find myself totally free.
Or I will be as soon as those boys of mine find an apartment.
I haven’t been this free since the day I fell for my ex-husband. That’s a long time. And not a lot of people get this opportunity at 52.
I want to write. I want to write about the desert. Hard to do when you’re not there.
Am I running away?
I’d be lying if I didn’t say yes.
Sure I am. But not with my tail between my legs.
There are definitely things down the road that I don’t want to be around for – and I don’t want my crazy to show up in Mancos again. Once was plenty.
This place is home – no doubt about that. I am so honored to be a part of this community. I couldn’t have raised my boys in a place any better than this.
And, before here, I never lived anywhere longer than 2 years. I am a wanderer, a loner, an adventurer.
I used to love moving; I loved the excitement of finding the secrets of a new place; to find my favorites – book store (if there is one, which there is in Moab), coffee shop, thrift store; to be able to explore some place where you don’t already have your favorite running trail or your go-to storm watching site. I love nesting in a new home.
I detest packing up an entire house. So this time I am going to sell the fuck out of my belongings and get out of Dodge with about 1/4 of what I currently possess.
Of course, there’s the piece about being so sad and wanting a fresh new world for a little while.
Breaking up in a small town just sucks. No way around it.
But, it’s time for an adventure. It feels a little ephemeral – like it’s just another random idea on a long list of fantasies. So I figure if I start talking about it, it just might happen.
SOOOOOOO scary and yet, every time I picture living in the Desert, my heart rate picks up just a little bit and I find myself smiling.
So, I’m putting it out there and am going to see what the universe presents.