UTAH, the aftermath

I want to lie on the warm slickrock.

Yep, collapsed on the hard stone when I finally, finally, FINALLY, made it back to my campsite.

I want to escape emotional mini-drama

Didn’t manage that until I was out of cell range. Thank god for blank spots on the technological map.

I want to hike until I drop.

Did I really ask for that?

Or until my stubby-legged dog drops.

24 hours later and he’s still asleep.

I want to sleep in a pile of down.

Bliss.

I want to breathe.

Was thinking expansive breaths, not panting and anxiety-driven hyperventilating.

I want to not worry about money.

Who cares about money when you’re not sure you will ever return to civilization?

I want to not risk being misunderstood.

No worries about that when I didn’t see another soul.

I want to feel strong.

I did. For a long time. Before I felt weak, exhausted, and mildly embarrassed. I feel strong again now.

I want hot Emergen-C at sunset and hot coffee at sunrise.

The morning coffee was everything that I had hoped for – in my pile of down – with my stubby legged dog.

I want to stretch my legs, my mind, my spirit.

Oh I stretched it all, for sure: joy, wonder, bliss, befuddlement, confusion, anxiety, fear, worry, relief, joy, merriment.

Can’t get there fast enough.

Can’t wait to go again..

adolescent boy humor

If you want to retain any sense of respect for me, stop now.

I’m about to expose my utter lack of maturity.

I have a poop story to tell.

If you’d like to accompany me to the land of gross, come on. If not, see you tomorrow.

Elvis Aaron Presley The Dog and I went to the park for a walk in the snow.

He does this really weird thing when he poops; he likes to prop his butt up high on a clump of snow. It’s awkward for him and fascinating to me.

So today, after he finished he stepped down from his butt rest and there was a dingleberry still tethered to him by maybe a long hair or something. I couldn’t see.

It doesn’t matter what it was, the important thing is that the anal hair allowed this piece of shit fly around and smack him in the ass when he started to take off.

He jumped, like, 3 feet in the air, where, of course, it hit him again, so then he hunkered down, cowering in the face of this relentless turd.

Did I help him?

You’ve gotta be kidding.

I was too busy losing my shit.

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